That is the only way to describe how i feel right now :D!
I was going to start off the week with the same 6 stands i ended the last week with but my legs felt different. They felt somewhat like in the old days like if they could just do stuff….as if standing was not an exercise in itself but just something you do without thinking. You just stand!
And i did!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! Now i kept feeling that way while i stood and i ignored it till the very last stand i did….oh yeah which btw was 8! today…yes 8! lovely number 8! Two more than i did friday….now you fully understand the YAY!!!!!!!!!! And on that 8!th stand i just stood, i didn’t think, i didn’t ponder or wait or build up like i been doing…i me just STOOD…and it went perfectly…no shakes no shifts just UP!!!!!!!!!!
Oh the small victories are the sweetest sincerely they are. Sigh….now do not be fooled i am here dripping and tired and sweaty, but no lie it real SWEET. The fact that i was able to do 8! first day of the week and to do that last one so fluidly, well, it makes the energy and effort exerted well worth it.
I watched a video last week that someone apparently purposefully tagged me in, i assume due to this blog and my announcement about working towards walking again, and the video talked about not telling anyone when you are planning any major life goals. The theory was that when you tell people, they tend to congratulate you and in your mind saying that you are going to do, equates to doing, due to all the praises you received and you do not work as hard as you should and eventually you have a lower chance of achieving your goal. Now i appreciate the sentiment, and the goodwill behind what i take as a warning, but, that person i assume has never done physical therapy before. In physical therapy, you earn everything. Talk does not mean squat! And for me at this point, i feel as if no matter how hard i work, it will not be hard enough, because what i have lost, no one but me, understands how big of a deal it is. There is no amount of hurrah from well wishers that could ever make me feel like yes ok i am almost done woohoo i am accomplished…absolutely none. The only way i will feel like i am doing anything of worth, or that i have accomplished something, is the day i walk my corridor like i used to. Or when i can go outside and climb on shit like a monkey. Or when i can get in and out the car in two seconds flat and nobody saw when i did it because i was just that fast. The other thing is that person who tagged me in that video, does not know me. All they have is a facebook image of me, and not even a very clear one. Because if i say i am going to do something, bank on it, it will get done. That is what i am known for. That is my rep. If it does not get done, be very certain that it was not for lack of trying or of me giving 200%. But as i said, that person does not know me, and i am sure they were trying to be helpful and give a warning. So no scene. I guess i just had to get that off my chest.
Anyway…..8!!!!!!!!!!!! And that one last wonderful stand!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now hear the dilemma…i was aiming for 9 in total at the end of this week…and i hit 8 today…monday….so….and to be honest i could have hit that 9 eh…but i did not want to over do it since my wrists been kicking me…sigh. But uhm…i guess i will work with the 9 and increase how long i stand each time by friday…go up to 15 secs each time? That will be over 2 minutes of standing time by friday….hmmmm we shall see :D!
In addition i think i will be taking weekends to rest, and just stretch, as i think i really do need that, and the research i have read says people do physio therapy like 2-3 times a week…heh…so my lil 5 times is uhm…yeah…heh. Later on i will have to integrate specific muscle strengthening exercises, when the muscles fully realise is time to wake up and be back in business, but all in due time 🙂
For right now, i am going to celebrate my 8! as well as my beautiful last perfect straight to the sky stand UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be blessed people, for God is surely good :D!