Today i was pissed and frustrated. Today i wanted to get out of the wheelchair and just walk dammit! Just pick up my feet and W-A-L-K!!!!!! And the fact that i could not, made me blow a fuse literally….my facebook status showed it LIVE.
Sigh, i am impatient. I have always been impatient. I want what i am working towards right now! Especially this…especially since i am starting from scratch AGAIN! I want it right now pronto! I know that is not going to happen barring a genuine miracle (please Jesus) but i am not going to stop or try to settle myself down. Because that craving that energy that need….THAT is what is going to push me to walk. That intensity is what got me standing less than a week out of major surgery all those years ago, and had me working with therapists every single day (cept weekends) for months in a hospital. This is the passion that will see me through all of the bruises, the sweat pouring off of me and the tears that keep spilling. This is my line, my light, my saving grace. This is who i am. This is Mystie.
I was raised a warrior and a fighter. The women in my family do not go meekly into the world we tear into it and work very hard to attain the impossible against all odds. It is how i have always been and it is how i will always be, and of that i am very proud.
So today i was full of fire and vigor! I translated it into my workout and got the following results 🙂
First 2 stands i did for 10 secs. Next 9 stands i did for 15 secs. Last stand i did for 25 secs….for a grand total of….180 secs…3 mins! That is a full minute more than yesterday. LOL!
The point of all this standing and measuring time is simple. In order to walk, my legs have to be comfy holding my body up for a length of time. Walking means shifting your body weight from one leg to the other and doing that for a period of time. I have to rebuild and retrain my leg muscles to be able to do that again, which is why i keep standing and pushing to stand for longer periods of time.
As it is, i am not sure i will make my goal of a single step this first month, but i will for sure push as hard as i can to make that 5 minute mark or as close to it as i can get before my first month is up.
And as with all that is worthwhile, there is a cost. I have spoken about the tears and the sweat….and today i show you the blood/bruising. I busted a couple capillaries which is i am sure going to bloom like freaking daisy tomorrow…so enjoy the pic attached and look out for even more beautiful bruising tomorrow or this weekend lol….anything worth having has a cost….i am more than willing to pay my way though….so much more than willing :D!