Is something God is constantly making me work on.
I started off this journey with a lot of high hopes and the very best of intentions, and initially it was rocky, and then things started to just zoom and i thought for sure yes!!!!! finally i will be back where i was, things are on a very positive upswing.
If you have been following the blog, you already know what happened. My hands. I had some serious pain for awhile. It was a difficult thing to swallow but not unexpected, i was hoping that i was going slow enough that it would not be an issue, but really i was pushing myself a lot harder than i should have been.
So then the year started closing off, and i faced some very trying days. A family member passed away, and in an instant my role as rock to my family became more than me saying or doing some small thing to make their day better…it became more than i knew i could pull off. After a helluva year it ended with me seeing plain as day, i am a woman, grown, strong, and sure. One that wears the responsibility of family quite well.
But as any person who has had to don that particular cloak can tell you, it is easy for you to get lost in the mix, and for you to forget about yourself and doing what needs to be done to ensure your health.
All of these occurrences made me take proper stock of my exercise program and i had to face some truths i hated, but was necessary for my overall development, mentally and physically.
One hard truth was: I was doing too much too fast. You don’t not walk for years then regain it in one year or less. You also do not promise yourself that, then beat yourself up when you cannot achieve it.
The other big hard truth was: Where i am is pretty advanced, and just maintaining it does take work. I took what i could do day to day for granted, and i should never ever do that. It is the easiest way to undermine yourself and ensure future and current failure.
Throughout all of this though, i kept on exercising. Surprised? Lol! I did it in much smaller amounts, but i kept it regular and now i realise what i have to do to continue my walk back.
Small steady movements, is the safest but surest way to go. Now if you know me, you know this could not be further from my regularly followed path, which is probably the biggest indication that i must take it.
Unlike my mind, my soul, and my intellect, my body is fragile as well as mortal. I need to respect that and slowly but surely build it back up.
I refuse to give up though, and even though it may take me longer than i want or longer than i expected to get back to where i want to be, so be it. It is a lesson. As this entire journey has been. One long ever-evolving lesson.
So…now i will be back to my exercise bike a couple times a week, in addition to standing between 40 secs – 1 minute a day. And on the days when this angers or disappoints me, i will remember how many people wish they could do all the things i take for granted…daily.
Blessings people, may this new year bring you all the things God above wants you to have and enjoy 😉